you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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