oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
