A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
