is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
FUCK WHALES
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