Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
