We named our party play list daddy issues
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize