why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
