Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
