Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
