The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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