well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize