I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
