Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
