I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
