god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
