Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
