walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
