I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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