My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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