She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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