Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
