I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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