This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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