sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Randomize
