Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize