hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
