You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
