who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize