on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
