Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
