I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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