I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
