Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize