I'm gonna have a badass scar
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
