Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Less talking, more tequila
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
