He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
