It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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