I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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