Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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