I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
