he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
