Moan for me like Helen Keller
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
