Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
