I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
