I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
