out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
