i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
