I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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