we're chasing vodka with high fives
Say something about gay babies.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize