Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Randomize
