Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize