He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize