Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize