I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
