so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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