I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
