i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
