I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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