it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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