come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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